Yes, You Matter

I've always been fascinated by people's stories. I love to hear about who they are, what they've been through, and how they found the strength to overcome their challenges. For many of us, our deepest challenges are ongoing and may remain a part of us throughout our lives. Financial, religious, relational, emotional and physical difficulties can rip apart the canvas of the life we thought we'd have and leave us holding the scraps from which we are supposed to construct some kind of meaning, purpose and value. The degree to which people possess the ability to bounce back from serious setbacks and manage their lives while carrying heavy burdens is known as resilience.

Some problems are temporary in nature and can be overcome. Other challenges such as death, divorce or disability leave us in a permanently changed state and we must fight to reconstruct our lives after these losses. Some have only known difficulty, having been born with defects or raised in deeply invalidating environments. I have yet to meet someone who had it all figured out. As far as I can tell, no one makes it through life unscathed. At some point, we will all face our demons.

Whatever your particular struggle might be, it's important to remember you are not defined by your weaknesses and inabilities. You are defined by your strengths and abilities. Focusing on what you lack will always bring pain. Instead, focus on what still remains. Those who have had their lives ripped apart by forces outside their control understand the effort required to rebuild from scratch and the reality of posttraumatic growth. This world is not for the faint of heart, and anyone who tells you that you don't have what it takes is lying. You matter, and you are everything you need to be.

I often hear heartbreaking stories of people who were bullied, marginalized, abused or neglected. There is a lot of injustice in this world and it doesn't have to be this way. We create our world with our thought, views and actions. We cannot choose our inheritance, the world we were born into, but we can take what we're given and make the most of it. Those who were treated terribly and are able to reach out through their pain to connect with another human soul are some of the most beautiful people in existence.

My mission, the contribution I want to make to this world, is to see and hear the ones who are too often ignored. Every voice counts. Every word should be heard. I can't fix all that is wrong but I can expand my heart to include everyone. I can fight my own battles so I can show up better and stronger for those who need me. I can acknowledge my own dysfunctions and be aware of how they limit me. I can work to heal what's broken in me and I can develop deep and abiding empathy.

There is a lot of stigma around mental health conditions and it needs to stop. No one is without value. All have worth and deserve to be acknowledged. It's time to put the brakes on our cold, calculating, egotism and economic grasping so we can address the real issues in society and in ourselves. It's time for a change in the status quo. It's time to look beyond ourselves and see everyone we've been avoiding. All we have to do is open our eyes and open our hearts.